So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
