no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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