That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
