Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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