It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
