Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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