I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
