what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
