dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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