This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My ass is underappreciated
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
