Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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