Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
