Can i not drive my cunt home
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
