Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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