what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
