my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
