But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
