Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
