I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
