This is not my ceiling
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
