Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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