One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
