just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
