Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can text with my tongue
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
