Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize