you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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