bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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