all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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