i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
