Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
