The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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