So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
