Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
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She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This baby is an asshole
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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