fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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