Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
