Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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