I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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