I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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