whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
