Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
