I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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