Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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