tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize