dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
