So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
