Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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