i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her