If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm way too hungover for life right now
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
