Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus

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  (630): Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus http://tfl.nu/u8l4
  Replies (19) Good night (596) Bad night (1786)
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  (714): View more from California

  found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.

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  (714): found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner. http://tfl.nu/5d6x
  Replies (42) Good night (984) Bad night (14861)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs

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  (516): I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs http://tfl.nu/s3ms
  Replies (19) Good night (4989) Bad night (1315)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...

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  (843): my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk... http://tfl.nu/ndqi
  Replies (14) Good night (5770) Bad night (1365)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.

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  (703): Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk. http://tfl.nu/el36
  Replies (12) Good night (6782) Bad night (1289)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.

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  (717): What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese. http://tfl.nu/9uuf
  Replies (10) Good night (5022) Bad night (875)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded

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  (406): well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded http://tfl.nu/5ng8
  Replies (3) Good night (1853) Bad night (818)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Let's paint friendship bongs

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  (989): Let's paint friendship bongs http://tfl.nu/nm34
  Replies (5) Good night (2297) Bad night (647)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?

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  (316): What's life without a lamp shade you wore home? http://tfl.nu/4piv
  Replies (6) Good night (1224) Bad night (636)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow

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  (321): Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow http://tfl.nu/go53
  Replies (9) Good night (1369) Bad night (799)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer

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  (775): Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer http://tfl.nu/5k0a
  Replies (2) Good night (444) Bad night (837)
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  (818): View more from California

  Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.

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  (818): Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest. http://tfl.nu/joqb
  Replies (9) Good night (1305) Bad night (434)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.

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  (850): Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too. http://tfl.nu/dtev
  Replies (8) Good night (528) Bad night (215)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it

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  (601): I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it http://tfl.nu/z5ku
  Replies (0) Good night (207) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help

  (630): View more from Illinois

  My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help

  (630): View more from Illinois

  This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can

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  (630): It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help (630): My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help (630): This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can http://tfl.nu/n0mf
  Replies (2) Good night (570) Bad night (301)

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