My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Blood and glitter go together right?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i think im in europe. pls send help