I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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