Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend

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(208): bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend http://tfl.nu/zaxj

Replies (11) Good night (506) Bad night (781)
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(519): View more from Ontario

When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.

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(519): When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon. http://tfl.nu/7cpz

Replies (56) Good night (8491) Bad night (975)
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(804): View more from Virginia

also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.

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(804): also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite. http://tfl.nu/xds7

Replies (14) Good night (4066) Bad night (1361)
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(707): View more from California

Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.

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(707): Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty. http://tfl.nu/vu49

Replies (8) Good night (3364) Bad night (784)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.

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(778): some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast. http://tfl.nu/x23k

Replies (3) Good night (868) Bad night (2128)
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(631): View more from New York

she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly

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(631): she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly http://tfl.nu/zoqz

Replies (6) Good night (1683) Bad night (897)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Internet Is back!

(860): View more from Connecticut

MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.

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(860): CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS. (508): Internet Is back! (860): MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS. http://tfl.nu/a6kg

Replies (7) Good night (884) Bad night (1181)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear

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(803): at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear http://tfl.nu/8b8t

Replies (5) Good night (1302) Bad night (615)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.

(415): View more from California

No.

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(920): Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay. (415): No. http://tfl.nu/olk0

Replies (8) Good night (1974) Bad night (605)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.

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(541): Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground. http://tfl.nu/5mkq

Replies (1) Good night (825) Bad night (455)
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(509): View more from Washington

Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.

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(509): Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs. http://tfl.nu/0hn1

Replies (6) Good night (840) Bad night (485)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.

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(601): You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass. http://tfl.nu/96n6

Replies (7) Good night (2276) Bad night (418)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.

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(505): I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that. http://tfl.nu/93tp

Replies (3) Good night (649) Bad night (309)
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(509): View more from Washington

As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.

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(509): As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass. http://tfl.nu/ksii

Replies (3) Good night (441) Bad night (312)
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(248): View more from Michigan

His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk

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(248): His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk http://tfl.nu/d0l5

Replies (0) Good night (521) Bad night (279)

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