Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
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My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
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I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...