All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize