Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
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