quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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