So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think your dad took our porno
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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