Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
