Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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