He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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