So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
