You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
