Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
