Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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