I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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