All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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