Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
