It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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