I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
