You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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