idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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