What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
