You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
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Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
As shirtless as possible
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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