i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
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My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
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I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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