you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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