Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
