Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
